What Is Authentic Relating?
Authentic relating is a way of talking with people. You say what is true for you, and you notice what is happening between you and the other person right now. It is simple to say and rare to find. Most of our talk stays on familiar ground: work, plans, the weather.
In practice, authentic relating is usually taught through games and exercises. Each one gives two people a clear task, such as answering a question, or saying what you notice as you listen. You use these games to practise honest conversation with people you have just met.
Where it comes from
The idea grew out of communities that were interested in communication, listening and group games. Over time, people began to run open evenings where anyone could join. You do not need to know the history of authentic relating to take part. What matters is the habit: pay attention, speak plainly, and stay curious about the person in front of you.
What an evening usually looks like
Most authentic relating evenings run as a group. A facilitator leads a circle through a series of exercises. Sometimes you pair up for a few minutes, then everyone comes back to the circle to share. The structure does the work, so you never have to think of what to say next.
That format gives you a lot. You practise saying what is true for you, and you hear honest answers from people you have just met. But much of what you share is said in front of the whole group. The facilitator, not you, sets the pace and decides how personal it gets.
A Makuma game: authentic relating in pairs
Makuma Connection Games are authentic relating played as a game, two at a time. You talk with one other person for ten minutes, starting from a question worth answering thoughtfully. When time is up, you choose. You can stay and go deeper, or you can meet someone new.
Playing in pairs gives far more room to go deep. You decide how personal you want to get. So you are in control, in a way a group circle cannot give you.
Five principles shape a Makuma evening, and they are the heart of how we practise authentic relating: Curiosity, Compassion, Consent, Centred and Courage. Be curious about the other person. Be kind to them and to yourself. Share only what you want to share. Stay with what you feel. Be brave enough to answer honestly. Together they make it easy to try, even if you have never heard the words before.
Who it suits
Some people have a busy, full social life and still want more depth with someone new. This style of talk gives them a way to skip the usual first hour of small talk.
Quieter people often like authentic relating too. You talk with one person at a time, and the format tells you when to speak and when to listen. If you like one good conversation more than a loud group, this is made for you.
Makuma Connection Games
Come as you are
Nothing to prepare. No perfect English needed. Just come as you are.
